Running with dogs only takes up a certain percentage of my life. I could also have used any or all of the following titles:

She Teaches English to 9th Graders

She Reads Many Texts

She Watches Many Things

She Teaches Others How To Run With Dogs

She Writes Mostly For Herself

She Stalks the Internet

She Listens to Music

She Thinks Too Much

She Eats Nice Food

She Works Out At The Gym

She Likes Orgasms

Yes, that covers it. Sherunswithdogs is pretty much the most exciting thing I do. And I’m not being pretentious by phrasing the title in the third person I swear. Is it pretentious to use big words like pretentious? This is a very hard line to judge. I never judge others for using big words. I may judge them for their choice of pet but never their use of big words. I like big words and I cannot lie. I never feel insecure when someone uses a big word I do not know. I feel very curious. I want them to tell me what that big word means and I want them to tell me now. I get overtaken by this subconscious urge to know what that word means immediately just in case I’m about to die. You never know. I’m not being maudlin here but sometimes you cannot plan for these things. In fact only the very few get to do so.  I feel like my life will have more significance once I learn it.  Maybe it does. It certainly won’t be lacking significance for having learned of it. Going back to my original point – irunwithdogs simply didn’t have as good a ring to it as sherunswithdogs. It’s almost as if gender definition adds a note of wildness to it. Could ‘she’ be a crazy lady dressed in eclectic and non matching items of op shop clothing running through the outback bush with feral dogs that look in need of a good feed? Or is ‘she’ some infamous as yet untalented hollywood attention whore who dresses in rhinestone Nikes, wears a size zero tank top and goes jogging with her little tea cup chihuahua tucked into her tiny Gucci shoulder bag. Perhaps ‘she’ is the cat’s mother. My mother always used that phrase. Like use of a pronoun was a capital offense. I never understood where it came from and I never looked it up because I like speculating on the possibilities of origins of phrases like “Who’s ‘she’? the cat’s mother?” I’m not the cat’s mother by the way. In case you were wondering.

She would be a woman in her 30’s – I refuse to describe them as ‘late’ because that reminds me of death – who lives with three dogs and a German guy (it’s important to establish origins) in Australia with numerous fish tanks. ‘She’ is also a high school teacher of English, a part time softball player, full time agility player, and some time writer. Is it fake to say ‘writer’ if you’ve never actually been paid for your writing? I don’t think so.  ‘She’ is possibly a little obsessed dedicated to a TV show called Supernatural, would like to be a millionaire for the sole purpose of travelling and sharing the wealth and has the kind of personality that scoffs in the face of the phrase “in moderation”. ‘She’ is working on this. (Mostly because it suits me greatly this whole living of life thing I’ve got going on and I’d like to keep that going as long as possible.)

This is my blog.